STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
