She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
