I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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