Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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