hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
