I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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