I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
