Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
MIDGETS
????
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
