I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
