If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We had to coat check the pizza.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
