I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
