This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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