Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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