pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
