If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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