Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
