You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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