I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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