Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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