Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
