I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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