i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
