put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
