I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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