Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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