Sry I called you an 8
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
