I'm jealous of your bromance
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
