Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
