why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize