I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
