Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
