can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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