You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
