he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
