worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
