in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
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Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
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I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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