Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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