And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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