How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
