Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
