i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
