Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
