just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize