so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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