4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
