My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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