I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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