YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
