Don't make out with my wife yet
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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