guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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