what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
