so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
