Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
