is your mom at the bar?
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
