we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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