I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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