More tranny stories later!
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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