it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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