yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
