The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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