Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
